When Running Isn’t a Given………

It’s funny, isn’t it, how as runners we so often take running for granted. The simple act of lacing up our trainers and heading out the door — whether that’s for a 5k parkrun or a long run in marathon training — can feel like a given. I know I certainly have.

Over the past ten years, I’ve been incredibly lucky when it comes to injuries (touch wood… and yes, I am touching the desk as I write this). But over the last few weeks, that luck seems to have wavered. I haven’t been able to run more than about 2.5 miles, and if I’m being completely honest with myself, that has really thrown me.

Running has never just been about fitness for me. It’s always been my way to unwind, to clear my head — my therapy, really. I’ve run through relationship struggles, heartbreak, grief, and pretty much everything life has thrown at me in between. It’s been the thing that’s helped keep me grounded. So not being able to do the one thing I love most has been tough — genuinely horrible at times.

I’ve always had a bit of a love–hate relationship with running. Some days I love every step; other days I question why I even went out. But no matter what, it always leaves me feeling better.

That’s what I miss most.

As I write this, I’m still recovering. I’ve had a sports massage and been told my calves are incredibly tight, which is likely causing the tightness that builds until I have to stop. I’ve been given exercises and stretches to work through, and I’m hopeful they’ll help resolve things — because more than anything, I just want to be back outside, running freely again.

By the end of this month, I’ll know whether London is still on the cards or if I’ll need to consider deferring until next year. I really hope it doesn’t come to that, but I also want to be realistic. I want to train properly and run the marathon to the best of my ability. My first marathon wasn’t trained for as well as it should have been, and I don’t want to repeat that experience.

A small but positive update: over the past couple of weeks, I’ve managed to build my mileage back up to 7 miles. I know that’s still a long way off where I need to be, but it’s progress. I’m hoping that a few solid sessions this week, plus a longer run at the weekend, will give me a clearer picture of how my legs are coping. From there — and into next week — I should know whether London is realistic. If it’s not, I’ll shift my focus to half marathons and work towards being ready to tackle London next year instead.

For now, I’m holding off on fundraising until I know for certain that I can run the marathon. I’m not sure if that’s the right approach or not, but until I know, I can’t shake the feeling that I’d be a bit of a fraud. One step at a time — literally.

“Running hurts, but not running hurts more“